these two song lyrics put my feelings into words far better than i ever could. both from the Judgement record by Anathema. if i suddenly become intelligent, i'll try to put them into photographic form.

One Last Goodbye
--by J Douglas

I know that I want you
I know that I need you
But I can't pretend that
This'll make it right

You whisper your name
But I can't hear you
Don't leave me behind
Lend me your hand

I can feel them
I think they're closing in
Don't leave me behind
Lend me your hand

Let me feel you
By my side
Be where I can hear you
I long to feel
--------------
Make It Right
-D Cavanagh

How I needed you
How I grieve now you're gone
In my dreams I see you
I awake so alone

I know you didn't want to leave
Your heart yearned to stay
But the strength I always loved in you
Finally gave way

Somehow I knew you would leave me this way
Somehow I knew you could never.. never stay
And in the early morning light
After a silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
And I grieve

In my dreams I can see you
I can tell you how I feel
In my dreams I can hold you
And it feels so real

I still feel the pain
I still feel your love
I still feel the pain
I still feel your love

And somehow I knew you could never, never stay
And somehow I knew you would leave me
And in the early morning light
After a Silent peaceful night
You took my heart away
I wished, I wished you could have stayed

i know i shouldn't be posting this, and i should just let it go and realize that this is a permanent end, but my heart won't let me. it's hard to let go of someone you love so much that when you think about them it gets hard to breathe.